roasted

had a 1530 game agst ntu today, i don't know why these past few days i've been rather stressed to perform in preparation for the semis not realising i have still 2 weeks to go. i underestimated ntu, thinking we're able to gain an easy victory over them, i was wrong, we lost 4-2. my flu was taking effect especially playing at such heat, i never felt so hot inside before man, somemore ntu was a side that runs alot. once again, we didn't have a full squad and played with only 10 men. i couldn't go to the bench. i just couldn't sprint and couldn't perform. when the wind blew, i felt cold, shrugs. midway through the first half, danker swapped me with richard. i felt better at left back, not needing to do much running, and ntu being a more predictable unit. i think we have a real big problem with our attack but kevin never addresses the problem as a whole. i don't think it's a problem with the forwards cos we have been finding space, but it's just that danker's passes are either too hard or we don't even know where he's passing. even if he passes to the halfs (maxi, bernard). i just refuse to pass. maxi will be in his on world trying to get the ball out of the area and somehow lose it, bernard will try to beat one player, sees another in front and tries to beat him too.. so we run for nothing. the consolation was at least our 2 goals were from short corners, at least showing short corners do help. i did a pretty good job in defence, but my problem of concentration always comes in, leading to the last 2 goals. perhaps the last goal wasn't my fault, it's true it was into space but it was slow enough for tobey to run and catch it. whatever, just concentrate on tml's game and the semis.

it was the premier men and women's final. a number of tp players were here to watch. valarie was here, i finally saw her and she looks better than i thought. we smiled at each other, i really really wanted to talk to her but i was just too shy. i can't stop looking at her. i could have sat with the tp ppl at one table but i chose to sit with jonathan and wanting, playing gooseberry. i don't really want to sit with them cos i'm not even in tp and i'm not close to richard and jeremiah. i asked jeremiah if he could go to weston with me tml to look at sticks, he just said that he had church from morning till the game, wah it's like 10 over hours, dowanna go then say so lah. i mean we're still friends what. valarie tried to talk to me a little but i was quite nonchalant in answering, i'm really kicking my own ass right now.. sigh. i guess it's just not the right moment, and i don't even have her number. the best time i guess should be during the 6s, which i'll be playing and hopefully will get some attention..haha.

i was tired, probably due to the hot weather and medicine. i just couldn't sleep, subconsciously i'll think of val and got a bad headache in the middle of the night. i don't know what is it that drives me crazy but i know this time if i don't try i'll definitely regret. 6s.. my best bet!