lonely saturday

i never had problems with weekends when i was attached, without fail we will meet each other every week, most of the time just going to the same old places cos i'm probably too lazy to find anywhere new since i'm in camp and already dead tired every saturday with ndp rehearsals. at least before i ord i still could go out with my army friends, sometimes ask her out during the period where i'm still getting used to. now that my season is over, i finally feel the full effects of loneliness. i woke up in the morning without any plans. my parents have gone to genting, great relief cos there won't be anyone to nag at me.

i woke up in the morning thinking how the hell am i suppose to spend my day. i thought of bowling, to see if i still have what it takes to join the pil bowling tournie. reluctantly, i called sw, i think he must be damn shocked to see my phone call. i thought to myself when did i actually stop talking to him when we used to be good friends. i guess the fact is i did pick up the initaitive to call him shows that i do not hold any grudge against him anymore. ns has changed me, moulded me to be a more forgiving person. this is my side of the story but i wonder what the other party thinks. he suggested going to marina with wl and eugene. wl has a car and he definitely can fetch the both of them but what abt me, i surely will look stupid walking with a bowling ball from city hall to marina on a crowded saturday afternoon. honestly, i did feel very awkward talking to him again so i sms him to tell him i'm not going. faye wasn't free too cos she has training. i really didn't want to call her but i did not want to face her in a awkward manner in future. well at least i tried. i didn't want to show that i neglected everyone when i was attached and now that i'm single i start crawling back to them. i guess i just wanted to save face. my very last resort was to cordially invite my bro to bowl but he too didn't want.. actually i guessed it.

so i accepted the fact that the whole day i'll be all alone. after lunch, i spent the afternoon catching up with germaine.. she was still in pri 5 when we went to europe and now she's sec 2.. talking to me like a grown up. at 3 plus i decided to go to library.. the weather was pretty good so it was a good idea just catching some of the fresh air instead of staying at home. i thought being a public holiday it'll probably close at 5 or smtg but it didn't even open.. i should have checked.. a wasted trip down. since i was at bedok i might as well hang around for a little while before heading home. i went to the ntuc to get some air con, it reminded me of the days where ying er and i used to shop over here for my snacks to bring to camp over the week or shop for groceries for steamboat when we invited faye when my parents were overseas. those were such happy days, i could remember how she chose the prawn, picked the yong tau foo. that was the belle i knew who was just contented with what she had, just contented with me being around her to love her, and i was glad i had her support.

i wanted to borrow a dvd to watch just in case i get bored, anyway it's been a long time since i catch a movie. looking at the movies, they were all around 2-3 yrs back and i've watched most of them in the cinemas with her. i wanted to rent ocean's thirteen, but when i wanted to give my ic to register for the rent it wasnt in the pocket i always place it in. i even called gl to help me go to paradiz to see if the guy returned the ic to me yesterday. only when i was in the bus did i realise i misplaced it in the wrong pocket. seems like today i'm fated to be deprived of friends, books and dvd.

i went home, changed and decided to go for a jog. i haven been jogging since i started work, only playing hockey but it's different. i can feel my arms shrink and the strength no longer there. after a few mths of hockey i can feel my legs feel lighter when running, no longer need to drag myself. i ran at a slightly faster pace today. did some push ups and crunches before heading home, by the time it's already 7pm, how time flies. i heard faye was coming over to stay but she nva came. i wonder what she is up to, she tells my bro that she's coming but she nva inform me and she nva come also never say, somemore she sleep in my room.. aiyah whatever.. women.

i just spent the whole night watching tv.. no one to disturb me. slept at 2am.. my body aching but it feels good to have let off the endorphins and sweat out all the work stress. val, when can i see u again?