vivid memories

it's kinda weird today how so many feelings spanned across from me within a span of 30min. i was feeling confident during my stat175 prac class today, unlike the lectures where i totally drew blank whenever prof graham said smtg.. today brad spent some time to do some explanation for us. lydia didn't have a class today so it seems maybe i could have lunch with her.. afterall i changed my class to thur bcos she couldnt make it on wed. however, after class she left to meet her friend. at that moment, i suddenly felt that its so difficult to make a gd fren here.. all i was asking for a fren to have lunch with..yet i couldnt find one. when she said she was going the opposite way i felt so distant.
so off i went to have lunch on the greens beside the library, it was smtg i can nva get in spore..i guess sitting on the grass and looking into space you will get alot inspiration in life, it clears ur mind up.

at the first bite on my tuna sandwich, it reminded me of the tuna sandwich at home.. except its not so tasty and fresh. there wasnt the egg and mayo to make it more succulent and wet. this tuna sandwich dries my throat..i downed all 3 of it.. luckily i had orange juice. it took forever to finish all of those, suddenly i started thinking that the only time i will sit on the grass to eat is when i was in ns.. i started thinking back at the times i wore my green, sitting on the muddy grass with seng choong, biao, sgt gavin, and whichever dy we had..haha. i would bring out my can of sausage, sc with his choc bread, biao with his chaosanzi..and gavin would steal our food..wtf..haha. though we were dirty, had to use our hands and make do with a make shift sandwich.. we were still very much contented with what we had. on the contrary, i now have dry & neat grass to have a proper sandwich.. yet i am not any happier. somehow i jus felt like going back to dirty days where we lived, eat, sleep, work together.. u can probably use the term for better or for worst. over here at college, u eat, sleep, live together but everyone lead their own life and they select their own frens. i'm not new to being selective on frens so i can't really blame them, we all have the right to choose our friends. sometimes i wonder why i can't find a single fren at uni while other singaporeans always have so many friends in uni. i think maybe in macquarie there aint many singaporeans at the first place and most basic selection of frens would be with ur own nationality.